I like to give little awards to things in my head. This particular prize is a tough contest with some very strong competitors, but I think ‘Nothing In Particular’ just about wins it: ‘Worst Ending To Any Song I’ve Made’.
There are many Trying Artist songs which feature the messy final mouse click, or the ok-I-give-up collapse of rhythm in all the instruments, but it’s the specific way in which my voice strains out the final four lines – four lines of improbably bad quality – before the instruments stutter and fade, that wins this song the prestigious award.
‘Go ahead and call for backup,
I’m sure they will come running,
Or instead why don’t you shut up
And back away into the corner’
Come on! Come on! I can’t believe I’m hearing these lyrics years later. I imagine different embodiments of me, playing the instruments separately, all cringing with shame when the singer version of me cracks those words out, unable to carry on playing, looking around at each other in disbelief.
Except that clearly didn’t happen. Clearly they were encouraging him.
It’s important to note here that this song, and its lyrical content, does fit within a certain thematic genre of my music as a whole: The Slightly Ironic Arrogant Rebel Figure. There will be a few more of these as the years drag on. The lyrics in these songs stand out because they are so unlike my personality, which is more like a Very Ironic Timidly Arrogant Obedient Citizen. I was a little bit more combative in the old days – I thought I was cool and didn’t like it when other people thought they were cool. However, this never caused me to start fights with people because they talked about their last holiday a bit too much.
I remember my Dad showing this song to someone, it might have been my drum teacher. His comment was ‘the guitars are out of tune’. Concise, to the point, succinct, correct.